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A place for everything
Our editor – imagine a combination of Mitch McConnell and SpongeBob SquarePants – is a big fan of the year-in-review list and said we should do one. But he turned down our idea for “Top 10 reasons not to do a year-in-review list,” so we’re doing the next-best thing: reporting on someone else’s.
We came across a list on Vice.com that was right up our alley, so to speak: “What did we get stuck in our rectums last year?”
It’s the latest edition of an annual list compiled by Barry Petchesky, who says he’s “been chronicling our country’s cavity misadventures” for a decade using data from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) database.
After you’re done here, we strongly urge you to check out Mr. Petchesky’s full list, which covers all of the major bodily orifices and is not limited to rectums. In the meantime, here are a few highlights, with quotes from the actual NEISS reports when necessary:
- Christmas ornament (ear).
- Egg timer (rectum).
- “Jumped off couch landed on spoon” (vagina).
- Christmas ornament (nose).
- Small shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Large shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Christmas ornament (throat).
- “Was using prostate massager & it got ‘sucked in’ ” (rectum).
- Coaxial cable (penis).
- Christmas ornament (rectum).
The weather stinks today
On the surface, the El Niño–Southern Oscillation isn’t the most impressive phenomenon in the world. The tropical eastern Pacific Ocean isn’t a small area, but there’s a lot of ocean out there, and the temperature difference from the norm during El Niño and its less well-known sister, La Niña, is only a few degrees.
But that blob of water can have massive effects on the world’s climate, causing drought and heat waves in some areas while being responsible for increased storms and massive amounts of rainfall and diarrhea in others.
“Wait, hang on – what was that last one?” you’re probably asking.
Yes, we’re going from “things stuck in our rectums” to “things very much not stuck in our rectums” thanks to a study published in Nature Communications. According to the researchers from Columbia University, La Niña (cooler water) is linked to increased diarrhea in young children in Botswana. During La Niña years, incidence of diarrhea in children aged 5 years or younger is 30% higher than in non–La Niña years.
It does make sense when you think about it. In southern Africa, La Niña is associated with cooler weather, increased rainfall, and more flooding during the rainy season. The aftermath of extreme rainfall events is often a breeding ground for waterborne pathogens. And so the diarrhea flows.
So, if you happen to be reading this from Botswana, pay attention to the news. If the meteorologists start talking about La Niña, you may want to stock up on oral rehydration salts and zinc.
Are two DNAs better than one?
Before you read any further, you need to find the X-Files theme to set the mood, so use this link and get it started.
Okay, is it on? No? That’s fine, we can wait.
Now are you ready? Good, here goes.
What happens after you receive a bone marrow transplant to treat acute myeloid leukemia? Many years of life, hopefully. But what if you survived and then started to turn into someone else? What if the DNA from the bone marrow donor started to replace your DNA?
Now you know why we needed the X-Files music.
Chris Long, who works at the Washoe County (Nev.) Sheriff’s Department, underwent a bone marrow transplant several years ago. Just before the procedure, a friend and colleague in the department, who just happened to run the crime lab, asked him for DNA samples.
Say, isn’t Area 51 in Nevada? Hmm, interesting.
A few months later, the lab determined that all of the DNA in his blood had been replaced by that of the bone marrow donor, the New York Times reported. And over the years, “swabs collected from his lip, cheek and tongue showed that these also contained his donor’s DNA, with the percentages rising and falling.”
Even more surprising? After 4 years, Mr. Long’s colleagues in the crime lab found that all of the DNA in his semen belonged to the donor, the Times said.
Mr. Long, it seems, has become a chimera, a combination of two people.
Guess what? There was an X-Files episode called “Chimera.”
Now, we’re not saying that all this proves aliens were involved, but … well … you know.
A place for everything
Our editor – imagine a combination of Mitch McConnell and SpongeBob SquarePants – is a big fan of the year-in-review list and said we should do one. But he turned down our idea for “Top 10 reasons not to do a year-in-review list,” so we’re doing the next-best thing: reporting on someone else’s.
We came across a list on Vice.com that was right up our alley, so to speak: “What did we get stuck in our rectums last year?”
It’s the latest edition of an annual list compiled by Barry Petchesky, who says he’s “been chronicling our country’s cavity misadventures” for a decade using data from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) database.
After you’re done here, we strongly urge you to check out Mr. Petchesky’s full list, which covers all of the major bodily orifices and is not limited to rectums. In the meantime, here are a few highlights, with quotes from the actual NEISS reports when necessary:
- Christmas ornament (ear).
- Egg timer (rectum).
- “Jumped off couch landed on spoon” (vagina).
- Christmas ornament (nose).
- Small shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Large shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Christmas ornament (throat).
- “Was using prostate massager & it got ‘sucked in’ ” (rectum).
- Coaxial cable (penis).
- Christmas ornament (rectum).
The weather stinks today
On the surface, the El Niño–Southern Oscillation isn’t the most impressive phenomenon in the world. The tropical eastern Pacific Ocean isn’t a small area, but there’s a lot of ocean out there, and the temperature difference from the norm during El Niño and its less well-known sister, La Niña, is only a few degrees.
But that blob of water can have massive effects on the world’s climate, causing drought and heat waves in some areas while being responsible for increased storms and massive amounts of rainfall and diarrhea in others.
“Wait, hang on – what was that last one?” you’re probably asking.
Yes, we’re going from “things stuck in our rectums” to “things very much not stuck in our rectums” thanks to a study published in Nature Communications. According to the researchers from Columbia University, La Niña (cooler water) is linked to increased diarrhea in young children in Botswana. During La Niña years, incidence of diarrhea in children aged 5 years or younger is 30% higher than in non–La Niña years.
It does make sense when you think about it. In southern Africa, La Niña is associated with cooler weather, increased rainfall, and more flooding during the rainy season. The aftermath of extreme rainfall events is often a breeding ground for waterborne pathogens. And so the diarrhea flows.
So, if you happen to be reading this from Botswana, pay attention to the news. If the meteorologists start talking about La Niña, you may want to stock up on oral rehydration salts and zinc.
Are two DNAs better than one?
Before you read any further, you need to find the X-Files theme to set the mood, so use this link and get it started.
Okay, is it on? No? That’s fine, we can wait.
Now are you ready? Good, here goes.
What happens after you receive a bone marrow transplant to treat acute myeloid leukemia? Many years of life, hopefully. But what if you survived and then started to turn into someone else? What if the DNA from the bone marrow donor started to replace your DNA?
Now you know why we needed the X-Files music.
Chris Long, who works at the Washoe County (Nev.) Sheriff’s Department, underwent a bone marrow transplant several years ago. Just before the procedure, a friend and colleague in the department, who just happened to run the crime lab, asked him for DNA samples.
Say, isn’t Area 51 in Nevada? Hmm, interesting.
A few months later, the lab determined that all of the DNA in his blood had been replaced by that of the bone marrow donor, the New York Times reported. And over the years, “swabs collected from his lip, cheek and tongue showed that these also contained his donor’s DNA, with the percentages rising and falling.”
Even more surprising? After 4 years, Mr. Long’s colleagues in the crime lab found that all of the DNA in his semen belonged to the donor, the Times said.
Mr. Long, it seems, has become a chimera, a combination of two people.
Guess what? There was an X-Files episode called “Chimera.”
Now, we’re not saying that all this proves aliens were involved, but … well … you know.
A place for everything
Our editor – imagine a combination of Mitch McConnell and SpongeBob SquarePants – is a big fan of the year-in-review list and said we should do one. But he turned down our idea for “Top 10 reasons not to do a year-in-review list,” so we’re doing the next-best thing: reporting on someone else’s.
We came across a list on Vice.com that was right up our alley, so to speak: “What did we get stuck in our rectums last year?”
It’s the latest edition of an annual list compiled by Barry Petchesky, who says he’s “been chronicling our country’s cavity misadventures” for a decade using data from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s National Electronic Injury Surveillance System (NEISS) database.
After you’re done here, we strongly urge you to check out Mr. Petchesky’s full list, which covers all of the major bodily orifices and is not limited to rectums. In the meantime, here are a few highlights, with quotes from the actual NEISS reports when necessary:
- Christmas ornament (ear).
- Egg timer (rectum).
- “Jumped off couch landed on spoon” (vagina).
- Christmas ornament (nose).
- Small shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Large shampoo bottle (rectum).
- Christmas ornament (throat).
- “Was using prostate massager & it got ‘sucked in’ ” (rectum).
- Coaxial cable (penis).
- Christmas ornament (rectum).
The weather stinks today
On the surface, the El Niño–Southern Oscillation isn’t the most impressive phenomenon in the world. The tropical eastern Pacific Ocean isn’t a small area, but there’s a lot of ocean out there, and the temperature difference from the norm during El Niño and its less well-known sister, La Niña, is only a few degrees.
But that blob of water can have massive effects on the world’s climate, causing drought and heat waves in some areas while being responsible for increased storms and massive amounts of rainfall and diarrhea in others.
“Wait, hang on – what was that last one?” you’re probably asking.
Yes, we’re going from “things stuck in our rectums” to “things very much not stuck in our rectums” thanks to a study published in Nature Communications. According to the researchers from Columbia University, La Niña (cooler water) is linked to increased diarrhea in young children in Botswana. During La Niña years, incidence of diarrhea in children aged 5 years or younger is 30% higher than in non–La Niña years.
It does make sense when you think about it. In southern Africa, La Niña is associated with cooler weather, increased rainfall, and more flooding during the rainy season. The aftermath of extreme rainfall events is often a breeding ground for waterborne pathogens. And so the diarrhea flows.
So, if you happen to be reading this from Botswana, pay attention to the news. If the meteorologists start talking about La Niña, you may want to stock up on oral rehydration salts and zinc.
Are two DNAs better than one?
Before you read any further, you need to find the X-Files theme to set the mood, so use this link and get it started.
Okay, is it on? No? That’s fine, we can wait.
Now are you ready? Good, here goes.
What happens after you receive a bone marrow transplant to treat acute myeloid leukemia? Many years of life, hopefully. But what if you survived and then started to turn into someone else? What if the DNA from the bone marrow donor started to replace your DNA?
Now you know why we needed the X-Files music.
Chris Long, who works at the Washoe County (Nev.) Sheriff’s Department, underwent a bone marrow transplant several years ago. Just before the procedure, a friend and colleague in the department, who just happened to run the crime lab, asked him for DNA samples.
Say, isn’t Area 51 in Nevada? Hmm, interesting.
A few months later, the lab determined that all of the DNA in his blood had been replaced by that of the bone marrow donor, the New York Times reported. And over the years, “swabs collected from his lip, cheek and tongue showed that these also contained his donor’s DNA, with the percentages rising and falling.”
Even more surprising? After 4 years, Mr. Long’s colleagues in the crime lab found that all of the DNA in his semen belonged to the donor, the Times said.
Mr. Long, it seems, has become a chimera, a combination of two people.
Guess what? There was an X-Files episode called “Chimera.”
Now, we’re not saying that all this proves aliens were involved, but … well … you know.